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This is the reason why I can go on extended holidays and not feel bad about leaving him behind. Bleah.
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- Me: I feel like a whale.
- Him: You're not a whale anymore (referring to my recent drastic weight loss)...
- Him: ... More like a seal!
- Me: ...
- : (
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- My husband really really sucks at consoling me / anyone.
- Him: How are you?
- Me: Heartbroken.
- Him: As long as you're not hungry.
- Him: 'Cause now its harder for me to solve your empty stomach than a broken heart.
- (He has been frustrated for 3 long months trying to find places we can eat at together, due to my diet.)
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- Me: So when are you joining me to be fit?
- Him: I am fit. I fit into all my clothes.
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- Him: Did you hear from (that expat client)?
- Me: Nope, I tried to call him yesterday and today but there was no response, so I followed up via email.
- Him: Okay, maybe he's on a beach in Thailand.
- Me: Oh, did he say he was going away?
- Him: Nope, just making a general observation on expat clients in Singapore.
- Me: ...
- I don't understand why is it my husband is able to render me speechless at least 3 times a day everyday.
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- I was having a chat with a friend about meeting people with similar interests, when I realized I may have none with the husband.
- Me: Baby, do we have any common interests?
- Him: No.
- ...
- Him: We used to. We used to love food together and enjoy eating together.
- ...
- Him: And we used to be fat together.
- LOL. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
- Okay, Couple Resolution 2013: Find a common interest or hobby! :)
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I’m very very sad this morning, and my husband sat beside me on the bed where I was lounging like a lifeless seal, patted my head and…
He said: “Don’t be so sad. You can only be vaguely unhappy.”
Wtf. IDE…?!
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- In an email to a potential client who is also a friend:
- Him: I've CC-ed Daphne in this email because one of the benefits of marriage is that I get a free PR/Marketing person in-house to help me answer emails in case I forget.
- .... Seriously?!
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- Me: Omg, the file organization on iOS really sucks! Every image goes into "Camera Roll"! Images you download, images you receive from Whatsapp, photos you take, etc! How stupid!
- Me: How can I make this better? Is there an app for that?
- Him: Ya, it's called "Android".
